Great, I thought to myself, hadn’t I just spent the last 6 months healing. Hadn’t I experienced enough random moments where I broke down crying? Hadn’t I had enough days where getting up was hard enough, let alone functioning? Wasn’t I whole? Wasn’t this past year hard enough?
My friend, even thousands of miles away and over Skype, could tell that this scared me. She looked at me through her computer screen and told me that I would be okay, that in order to move to the next season in my life, to do all that I was meant to do, I would need to go through this season…sure it would be tough, but it was necessary.
Sometimes we have physical wounds and sometimes they’re emotional or psychological. When we have a physical wound it is evident to those around us. We can see it disappear as it heals, the scab growing across it and eventually disappearing. Wounds that are inside, psychological and emotional, often take longer to heal or even worse, completely ignored because we don’t take the time to stop and see where we are at. Or, sometimes we don’t deal with the wounds because it hurts to much to deal with them completely.
Sy Rogers once spoke to our leadership team in London about bringing up wounds of the past. He warned us against digging up wounds from the past at the wrong time, instead to let them come out when they’re meant to.
On Saturday night, a very wise friend of mine said that it might be scary to deal with your wounds, but the Lord will love you, fight for you and protect you no matter what because He would never put you through something you could not handle.
The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain in rest.
Here in Stockholm I rest a lot more than I did in London. This probably has to do with the fact that although I’m in school and running my own business I still have heaps of time…and in that rest I’m letting the Lord fight for me. I know that in Him my wounds will be healed, so that I may be whole to do all He wants for my life. It could be scary and it might hurt a bit, but I know it’s for the best.
Can I encourage you to let your wounds heal. Talk to a friend, a counsellor, a pastor. Get the right care. Journal, take time out to be with yourself. I pray that in all of this you will find wholeness in Him.