2015. You really surprised me. You brought some of the most challenging moments of my entire life. You stripped me bare. You revealed parts of me that I had hidden away and some I had never known. You made me cling to my God and to shake people from my life. You gave me the drive to change my life. You are a year I want to say “get behind me” and yet I know that so much was taught to me.
So, 2015. I thank you. Thank you that you are almost done. Thank you that you showed me that I am stronger than I have ever been. Thank you for teaching me to be a badass.
Ultimately we all understand that circumstances happen to us, but they need not hurt us, they can define us.
2016 is going to be one of those culmination years. It will be a year where all that the last four years, all the difficulties, the sowing, the pushing through, will bring the harvest. How do I know this? Because I will make it happen. I am going to be a badass…but how?
“To win battles you need to have the right strategies and resources because victories are not by accident” -The War Room
- I am going to fill myself with good. “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31b-32. If it means pasting post it notes up in every inch of my room I know that when I hear the voice of the one who created me, I am inspired and know my value and worth.
- I will fall on my knees. Maybe not always literally, but I have learned that in the most difficult times of my life, if I pause and, even in a whisper, surrender my moments to God, I am filled with peace.
- I will stop listening to the voices. “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” John 4:7 We all have a purpose on our lives and the greatest battle we face is that of the devil trying to stop us. But the battle has already been won and we simply need to stop the voices, whether they’re in our heads or from the critics. I am really great at going to the dark places in my mind, and sometimes I pause there, sometimes I allow it to fuel my creativity, but I never allow it to take me down. Allow the dark to fuel the fight, not to consume.
- I will seek inspiration in the every day. Whether it’s a good book, a long walk, a sweat-filled work out, or even dancing around the house to a good song, I choose to seek out what will drive me forward.
- I will learn to be vulnerable. I think one of my greatest lessons I have learned is to be more open. One of my favorite parts of this year was meeting someone who brought out aspects of me I didn’t share with a lot of people. It was only in the letting go of everything that I was able to trust this person enough to, in turn, get to know myself better. I stopped thinking of how I should act or what should happen and allowed myself to be. I hope that 2016 will bring more vulnerability.
Being a badass may look very different to you. To me a badass will mean being a woman who doesn’t doubt her confidence. Who continues to find her value in Christ. Who doesn’t care if people don’t think she is their cup of tea. Who finds the beauty in the waiting and in the truth. She finds freedom in understanding that she is an onion waiting to be peeled, layer by layer and it’s okay to only allow some people to see each of those layers. She is a badass because she loves unconditionally.
I hope that I can inspire you, even a little, to be a badass, whatever that means to you.