On the Subject of Singleness

I am no expert on love or singleness…

But I have been in love and I am single.

So I guess I can say something on the subject.

My lovely friend told me today that her boyfriend and her were back together after a time a part and reflecting on what they both wanted. I was so happy for her as she was glowing and as I sat on the bus riding home I realised that I am in no rush to be with someone and this, this is new.

I am probably going to have to read this post at least once a week because I do have my moments but I thought about life now and I realised that I’m just happy to wait. There is no one in my life that makes me want to give up the life I have. Maybe that’s selfish, but if you listen to Paul he does talk about how an unmarried man or woman can attend to the affairs of the Lord (1 Corinthians 7). I think, after 29 years, I’m finally believing that.

Oh sure, I absolutely want to get married but I also do not want to marry the wrong person.

I live in a country that actually has a word to describe the idea of just enough…mediocrity in another sense of the word. Okay, so not all Swedish people live like this (take for example, all the amazing inventions like Skype that have come out of this country) so I am definitely not putting the Swedes down. However, it’s a great word to describe how a lot of people seem to choose their boyfriends, girlfriends or spouses; they’re just enough.

As it says above, “Yes, I’m single and you’re going to have to be pretty damn amazing to change that.” I always thought that it was a bit rude, a bit cheeky and maybe even a bit prideful. It’s not though, is it?

I have one life one earth.

I have ONE chance to make the biggest difference to as many people as I can.

As a Christian, I have one purpose: to show the love of God to others so they may find Him and His grace, love and relationship.

If I marry the wrong person…am I really honouring that responsibility?

God has put many dreams on my heart. Some of these dreams I have fulfilled, some I’m working on and others, well, I’m not quite ready to do them yet…some of these things I will accomplish on my own, others with business partners and then some with the man that decides, with me, to spend the rest of our lives together.

I don’t want to be the girl who gets to the end of her life and sees the life she could have lead, the impact she could have made, the people who would have met Christ…I personally want to do everything in my power to make the “would, could and should haves” as small a number as possible.

So, if it means waiting a bit longer to get married…then okay.

I can wait.

Pressed upon my heart for many weeks now is this: be here, in the season I am in now, simply taking care of the things that are in my hand now, honoring the now, so that whatever God has for me, all the doors He opens and closes, the steps I need to take, the people I need to meet, that I will be prepared for them because I was faithful in my day to day.

It applies to my marriage as much as it does my career…

I have, in the past, been stuck in a job only because I had to work and took the first thing I found instead of trusting God for the better thing and that simply sucked. I do not want to be stuck in a covenant because I went for the first thing that came along. If it means waiting for that one who needs time, or waiting because I need time…whatever the reasons are that I am not yet running the race with a partner, I would much rather wait than commit myself to a life sentence of “Just okay.”

So…until that time…I’m okay..no, I’m more than okay. I am content with me, with my relationship status and well, frankly, someone is going to have to be pretty damn amazing to change that…

Until then I’ll just keep piling on the blankets to keep warm in my king size bed in a very cold country.


6 thoughts on “On the Subject of Singleness

  1. As someone who was in a relationship with the “wrong girl”, I agree. I look back at that relationship and realize I was in it because I wanted to make things happen, I didn’t have enough faith in the Lord to trust in him to provide me with a spouse (or even a job) and since the break up (2.5 years ago) I’ve been on an intense journey of self discovery and have been put in situations that have strengthened my faith and have reassured me that I’m on the right path. Anyways, thanks for the post 🙂 and stand strong in the Lord!

  2. “I’d rather wait than commit myself to a life sentence of “Just Okay!” Girl…All I can say is Yes Ma’am! I am so worthy and deserving of nothing less than Ah-May-Zing. God has so much in store for each one of us and its so important to be equally yoked in every aspect. I am single and have just come to the conclusion that I am okay where I am in life. I’m not yet in the career I desire, but I’m okay where I am NOW (God is preparing me to get there). I’m not married, but God is preparing someone so Amazing for me I shall NOT rush Him, I’m perfect where I am NOW. There are so many desires God has placed in my heart. I don’t know what my future holds but I refuse to allow anyone or anything prevent me from getting there.

  3. Thank you for this post!
    I just had finished a post-valentine talk with students from the university where I teach and I shared the “Yes, I’m single..” photo with them. That’s how I came across your beautiful post right here, while looking for the photo source. 🙂 Well, anyway, I shared to them how they can truly discover real love if they wait and trust in the Lord, and still I feel like there are some important points I’ve missed. Your post here, in contrast, is wonderful. You nailed it. I’m 27 and exactly on the same place where you’re at and sometimes I get the urge to say yes to commitment (and eventually, to marriage) even though I don’t totally like the guy just because I’m surrounded by people who believes a girl my age should already be married with two kids at the least. I just can’t picture myself there yet. I guess I’ll just have to wait for my “amazing.” 🙂

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