Don’t look back

You know those conversations, the ones that smack you right in the face? Some are simply truth you need to hear and others prophetic  words from the One who knows you better than you know yourself.

I had a long, overdue catch up with one of my dearest friends a few nights ago. Spread across the carpet of my flat in Stockholm I lay there crying and laughing in a general state of thankfulness to God who has always blessed me with incredible friends.

There are currently so many thoughts in my head that I hope that this makes sense…I read an article a few days ago by Helen Burns on living the life that you’re meant to. She wrote about how she was a wife, a mother and life was going well but she felt like she had been living in a cloud, in a shadow of the life that was meant to be hers. It was not that the choices she had made were wrong, but that she wasn’t doing all she could.

Just before I left London I admit that I had a good old wake up call of a similar nature. To those on the outside life was good and I can’t complain. In fact, I dare not be anything but thankful for the life I have lead so far, good and bad…as it has made me who I am. However there were aspects of life that weren’t quite right. It was certainly like a fog was surrounding me. There were areas of my life that I needed to take control of, change, heal from wounds and in some respects get a good old kick in the butt because I had not been living a life of excellence in certain areas.

It’s not going to be the same for some, but for me, moving away was probably exactly what I needed to do and the following was just one lesson I needed to learn…

I once wrote a post about how it was time to say goodbye. How people were in your life for a reason, a season, or a life time. Some come back in your life, others never return…all leave an imprint on your heart.

This week I was reminded of the kind of person I am. I don’t give up on people. While this is an admirable quality, it’s not always particularly beneficial. I think about how Paul talks about how everything in life is permissible but not always beneficial. I wonder how many times I have tried to keep people in my life when, for the good of one, or both of us, they probably need to not be there any more. I don’t like giving up on people, I want to see the best in them, I don’t want to lose them in my life, even if sometimes that means losing a part of me.

I have lost people in my life, and actually ,through those losses my life has moved forward. Frankly and very honestly, it sucked to lose them. I didn’t want to lose them…I liked them, even loved some of them and they are good people. However, some times it was just not the right time. Ever heard the quote “Right love, wrong time?” this applies to both friendships and romance. There are seasons in life where, if a person or people try to be beside you during that season, you just won’t live out the life that you were meant to live.

I find that really difficult to grasp, mainly because I want everyone around me. I love people. However, what I have learned is that just because someone is no longer in my life or I in theirs, it does not mean that either of us are less than valuable. It just simply means, that in this time, circumstance, stage in life, we’re not the best for each other.

I never want to hold someone back from the life that they are meant to lead, nor do I want to live a life that doesn’t have the most positive impact I could possibly have in the time I have here.

so…maybe for you it’s time to let go of some people or maybe, like me, simply the guilt or hurt that comes with having already let that person go. Remember peacefully and step into today knowing that it will all work out…

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