The post is most definitely inspired by the last 2 hours of my life. I giggled and cried through “What to expect when you’re expecting” and as I walked home in the glorious sunshine cast across our city I was inspired.
When I was dating my ex he asked me how many kids I would want. Surprising myself I said, 3-5 depending on where I ended up and finances etc. I had zero problem thinking about a future with babies running around, I was in love, secure and I was promised diamonds per child (jokes). Fast forward to just two weeks ago and I was babysitting my dear friend’s little girl. Though I would throw myself off a bridge to save that little girl, I love her so much, being single again, the thought of children makes me want to throw myself over that same bridge voluntarily. It really does come down to this, I reckon, our bodies, our minds, and our emotions prepare us for different seasons in our lives. Not being in love, imaging my life with children is rightly formidable…I want a dog and even that’s a commitment.
As I enter a new season of my life I find that there are particularly changes in my personality (the fact that every time I buy something I think “would I really want to pack this?”) as well as my emotional state when dealing with a variety of different situations, that are preparing me for next steps. Even now as I think about what the next season in my life may be I look back and see how decisions and circumstances have guided me there. The desires of my heart haven’t changed, I always wanted to pursue this path, but I wasn’t yet prepared to carry out the next season for all it could be. Equally, I’m not going to go out and pursue motherhood in my current season of life, it’s not the right time, i’m not prepared.
I’m so thankful to God that He created us the way He did. Each part of us, our physical, spiritual and emotional selves are so interconnected. Further, He cares enough to weave each part together creating a beautiful pattern that is our lives. We simply need to trust in His perfect timing and His perfect ways.
Frankly, even in the hardest times I’m comforted by the fact that His ways are greater than mine…I challenge you to do the same.