Bittersweet Solitude




I love Psalm 46:10.


Be still and KNOW that I am God. 


Have you read all of this passage? (emphasis mine)

 1GOD IS our Refuge and Strength [mighty and impenetrable to temptation], a very present and well-proved help in trouble.

    2Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains be shaken into the midst of the seas,
    3Though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling and tumult. Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!
    4There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the Most High.
    5God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God will help her right early [at the dawn of the morning].
    6The nations raged, the kingdoms tottered and were moved; He uttered His voice, the earth melted.
    7The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our Refuge (our Fortress and High Tower). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!
    8Come, behold the works of the Lord, Who has wrought desolations and wonders in the earth.
    9He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow into pieces and snaps the spear in two; He burns the chariots in the fire.
    10Let be and be still, and know (recognize and understand) that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!
    11The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our Refuge (our High Tower and Stronghold). Selah [pause, and calmly think of that]!

I was reading this passage today…while sitting in Starbucks in Soho, London (I was actually supposed to be writing my Letter of Intent/Research statement, oh well)…

I used to love being alone. I loved solitude, spending hours alone, at movies, reading, cleaning, writing, listening to music. Whatever, wherever…solitude reenergised me. 

Lately however I haven’t been alone. I can’t be alone because my thoughts, feelings, take over and I panic. Being alone to me means thinking too much and it makes me sad.  My friends are amazing and have been there, keeping me company and distracting me with coffee.

However, this will not work long term, so as the weeks pass I have slowly increased the times I am alone and made them purposeful. I have tried to calm my heart, still my thoughts and focus on God. Through this practice (which I talked about in this blog) I have learned to stop. Be still. regroup and let my heart focus on God…letting Him fight for me (Exodus 14:14) which has then allowed me to rest and once again love my moments of solitude.

You may love being alone like I once did or you may hate it like I currently do…but I am challenging you, and me to use those moments of solitude to rest. God can say something pretty amazing things when we stop and listen. 
A lovely friend told me about how she is starting the practice of just taking some time, stopping and listening to God…praying, and seeing what He says to her. I like this idea…my challenge for myself is to take some time this week and try it. Why not join me?

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