Where do I look?

In December 2010 I moved into a lil’ studio flat, with minimal complaining from the person who so kindly moved me in, but I digress. Combined with recently taking up running (I’m training for a half marathon), I have a lot of time to think (or talk to myself, whichever way you want to see it) and when I stop myself, have a bit of a chat to God…

Now, if you are like me, too much time to think can either be super productive or taken to the other extreme, absolutely destructive. I personally find that when I think too much I become super self involved.  It’s a rather unattractive quality, but one I’m sure I’m not alone in possessing. It is in these moments where I am most likely to 
stop trusting God and like Peter pointed out last night in church, miss the beauty of the moment.

I will be the first to admit that I like to be in control. I like outcomes and plans and understanding exactly how things are going to turn out (even if I may have recently had a conversation about how this is not always the best plan, I was totally preaching to myself too!). My logical, business minded brain wants to know facts, to understand exactly when something is going to happen and how, if I make choice A then what will happen versus how choice B will affect my life. That movie Sliding Doors killed me. The creative, passionate side wants it all to happen now.
So you can clearly see that TRUST is an issue.

I am a firm believer that circumstances can affect your life; if you let them. Someone once said, first you are victim, then you are survivor, then you are an overcomer. Although not totally the dramatic life story some may have, there has been more than one event, occurance, and circumstance that has caused me to have some major trust issues. Whether it has to do with work, money or love, I have a few things I need to get over. I choose to be an overcomer.

And thankfully I have GRACE.  I don’t have to do it alone and neither do you. Don’t you just love it? Grace is the gift which allowed me to have faith and faith, in God who is my Father, my Saviour, my love, my all in all. Through Him I can do anything. Nothing, no weapon (like fear, lies, distrust, ANYTHING) that is formed against me will prosper. With God…I am free.

Most recently I have been learning about living in the beauty of the moment. So when, last night, in the last service Peter talked about exactly this, I paid a LOT of attention. Peter asked a question, “where are you looking, what are you looking for?” right away, the first thing that popped into my head was “I want to know what’s going to happen.”

Sidenote: Now that question could be the question to a lot of things…and I’m not going to go there in this blog…but needless to say a few specific situations popped into my head.

I admit that I find trust really hard and it is sometimes an hourly practice to just lay my cares down…but in the end I am learning that it is more than worth it.

Where are you looking? 

When your job isn’t going quite as you planned? Where are you looking?

When you don’t have quite enough money? Where are you looking?

When you are sad? Where are you looking?

When that boy still hasn’t asked you out? Or that girl is talking to your friend, your FRIEND!? Where are you looking?

When you are home on a Friday night alone? Where are you looking?

I hope, dear friend, that you can look to God…For He loves you so much and He knows. He knows EVERYTHING about you. (Psalm 139).

You can trust Him.

Romans 8

1THEREFORE, [there is] now no condemnation (no adjudging guilty of wrong) for those who are in Christ Jesus, who live [and] walk not after the dictates of the flesh, but after the dictates of the Spirit.(A)
    2For the law of the Spirit of life [which is] in Christ Jesus [the law of our new being] has freed me from the law of sin and of death.
    3For God has done what the Law could not do, [its power] being weakened by the flesh [[a]the entire nature of man without the Holy Spirit]. Sending His own Son in the guise of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, [God] condemned sin in the flesh [[b]subdued, overcame, [c]deprived it of its power over all who accept that sacrifice],(B)
    4So that the righteous and just requirement of the Law might be fully met in us who live and move not in the ways of the flesh but in the ways of the Spirit [our lives governed not by the standards and according to the dictates of the flesh, but controlled by the Holy Spirit].
    5For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and [d]pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and [e]seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit.
    6Now the mind of the flesh [which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit] is death [death that [f]comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter]. But the mind of the [Holy] Spirit is life and [soul] peace [both now and forever].
    7[That is] because the mind of the flesh [with its carnal thoughts and purposes] is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.
    8So then those who are living the life of the flesh [catering to the appetites and impulses of their carnal nature] cannot please or satisfy God, or be acceptable to Him.
    9But you are not living the life of the flesh, you are living the life of the Spirit, if the [Holy] Spirit of God [really] dwells within you [directs and controls you]. But if anyone does not possess the [Holy] Spirit of Christ, he is none of His [he does not belong to Christ, is not truly a child of God].(C)
    10But if Christ lives in you, [then although] your [natural] body is dead by reason of sin and guilt, the spirit is alive because of [the] righteousness [that He imputes to you].
    11And if the Spirit of Him Who raised up Jesus from the dead dwells in you, [then] He Who raised up Christ Jesus from the dead will also restore to life your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies through His Spirit Who dwells in you.
    12So then, brethren, we are debtors, but not to the flesh [we are not obligated to our carnal nature], to live [a life ruled by the standards set up by the dictates] of the flesh.
    13For if you live according to [the dictates of] the flesh, you will surely die. But if through the power of the [Holy] Spirit you are [habitually] putting to death (making extinct, deadening) the [evil] deeds prompted by the body, you shall [really and genuinely] live forever.
    14For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
    15For [the Spirit which] you have now received [is] not a spirit of slavery to put you once more in bondage to fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption [the Spirit producing sonship] in [the bliss of] which we cry, Abba (Father)! Father!
    16The Spirit Himself [thus] testifies together with our own spirit, [assuring us] that we are children of God.
    17And if we are [His] children, then we are [His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His inheritance with Him]; only we must share His suffering if we are to share His glory.
    18[But what of that?] For I consider that the sufferings of this present time (this present life) are not worth being compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us and [g]for us and [h]conferred on us!
    19For [even the whole] creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God’s sons to be made known [waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their sonship].
    20For the creation (nature) was subjected to [i]frailty (to futility, condemned to frustration), not because of some intentional fault on its part, but by the will of Him Who so subjected it–[yet] with the hope(D)
    21That nature (creation) itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and corruption [and gain an entrance] into the glorious freedom of God’s children.
    22We know that the whole creation [of irrational creatures] has been moaning together in the pains of labor until now.(E)
    23And not only the creation, but we ourselves too, who have and enjoy the firstfruits of the [Holy] Spirit [a foretaste of the blissful things to come] groan inwardly as we wait for the redemption of our bodies [from sensuality and the grave, which will reveal] our adoption (our manifestation as God’s sons).
    24For in [this] hope we were saved. But hope [the object of] which is seen is not hope. For how can one hope for what he already sees?
    25But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure.
    26So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.
    27And He Who searches the hearts of men knows what is in the mind of the [Holy] Spirit [what His intent is], because the Spirit intercedes and pleads [before God] in behalf of the saints according to and in harmony with God’s will.(F)
    28We are assured and know that [[j]God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.
    29For those whom He foreknew [of whom He was [k]aware and [l]loved beforehand], He also destined from the beginning [foreordaining them] to be molded into the image of His Son [and share inwardly His likeness], that He might become the firstborn among many brethren.
    30And those whom He thus foreordained, He also called; and those whom He called, He also justified (acquitted, made righteous, putting them into right standing with Himself). And those whom He justified, He also glorified [raising them to a heavenly dignity and condition or state of being].
    31What then shall we say to [all] this? If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who can be our foe, if God is on our side?](G)
    32He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own Son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all [other] things?
    33Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect [when it is] God Who justifies [that is, Who puts us in right relation to Himself? Who shall come forward and accuse or impeach those whom God has chosen? Will God, Who acquits us?]
    34Who is there to condemn [us]? Will Christ Jesus (the Messiah), Who died, or rather Who was raised from the dead, Who is at the right hand of God actually pleading as He intercedes for us?
    35Who shall ever separate us from Christ’s love? Shall suffering and affliction and tribulation? Or calamity and distress? Or persecution or hunger or destitution or peril or sword?
    36Even as it is written, For Thy sake we are put to death all the day long; we are regarded and counted as sheep for the slaughter.(H)
    37Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors [m]and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us.
    38For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things [n]impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers,
    39Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

One thought on “Where do I look?

  1. hey Michelle, I also had that unsettling feeling after watching Sliding Doors (loved the movie btw) 😀 the not knowing is killing isn't it! Im like you, a control freak haha!! love your blog babe, its inspiring :)Joella

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