Time to say goodbye: updated…

I learned something today.
I learned that it is okay to say goodbye.
Talking to a friend she reminded me of an analogy about a shoe.
As young children we generally have affection for a pair of shoes. We wear them every day (much like the Indiana Jones costume or the ballerina tutu.) Then one day we grow out of them. Our mom forces us to throw them away or give them to our lil’ brother/sister/cousin. The shoe no longer has a purpose in our lives, but it remains precious to us.
I’ve realised that this happens in friendships. There are people in your life who mean the world to you, but then one day they don’t fit.
Every person is precious. The time that they spend in your life is precious. Each moment, each tear, each giggle, every hug, fight, word…precious.
However, not every person will be in your life the duration. My mama always used to say that someone is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. They hold a purpose in that season and then it is over.


Last year I sat in leadership session for church where the pastor talked about how there are people who can’t be in your life in the next season. There are people who God actually winnows (Wind winnowing is an agricultural method developed by ancient cultures for separating grain from chaff. It is also used to remove weevils or other pests from stored grain) and separates from you. When I heard that the first time it really impacted me. I love people. I think it’s a combination of nature vs nurture. My dad is a social butterfly (actually so is my mom) but also circumstance led to me being an only child, so I kind of collected friends growing up.
And since I love people, I also don’t really like saying goodbye. It hurts. Even when the situation calls for separation, it still hurts. I have a hard time letting go of people. I find it hard to move on.
But I have to. We all do. We have to move on. This doesn’t just apply to people. It can apply to a circumstance, an object, a moment. We can’t live in the past because living in the past can deny our futures.
God has great plans for you. He has plans that will prosper you and give you a hopeful future. He wants his light to shine across all the earth so that people will return to him.
If we’re living in the past; how can we look forward to our future? Frankly, if we’re living in the past (even for just moments a day), then what are we focussing on? Certainly not God.
I challenge you (and me) to look forward. Let’s move forward. Let’s cherish where we have come from. Let’s cherish the people in our lives. But let’s keep the main thing the main thing…


I ran into someone yesterday. We were once close. Very close. And now we’re not. I kept thinking, praying, hoping that one day we would be close again. And then I woke up today and realised that our time together was precious but it’s time to say goodbye. And that is okay.
Update: It’s interesting almost a year on how that the friendship I was particularly talking about in this blog has changed again. We are now good friends, who cherish each other in our lives and want to be there again. I often think of the quote “”If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” Looking back, that process has to come with complete and total letting go of that person and situation. That’s the most difficult part, separating your heart from theirs. Unfortunately each time it happens it doesn’t make it easier but you do know and have the hope that either way, both of you will be taken care of, living good, happy lives.

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